Saturday, April 16, 2011

"They Need Him More Than You Do..."

Lou

Vito's Mom here. I had to take over this post (much to Vito's protest of course). Louie has been with us for a month now. It is safe to say that I am in love with him. There have been a lot of different emotions during his stay with us. Vito has been jealous, has misbehaved, and has been downright mean to Louie. I've felt guilty and sad for Vito because he doesn't understand who Louie is, why he is here, and why he doesn't have 100% of my attention all the time. I've felt bad for Louie because of the bully pushing him around (although let me assure you, he's always protected by me!). It's been an adjustment also having two pugs - harder for walks, harder for traveling, harder for feeding, etc. But of course there have also been a lot of good times, playing, wrestling, and later on, even snuggling between them (which I was convinced would never happen!).

Vito on the right

Waiting for treats

Now, Louie is officially up for adoption and we have had several applications for him, most of them coming from many states away. I cried when we received the first application from Georgia (we live in St. Louis). I didn't know I would react that way - but I couldn't control it. At that point, I wasn't even sure that I was attached to him. But the tears just came when I saw the address. I couldn't stand the thought of not personally seeing his home, and knowing I would never, ever see him again. And that was the moment that I knew I WAS attached and there was no going back from that. I couldn't give him to "just anyone." It was going to have to be someone who was better than him living with ME (and Vito). We moved on from that app (& I'm told a local pug was found for that family) and several more followed. This week though we got some good local apps. One great one in particular. They had two Boston Terriers, brothers - one who passed away last year at 13 years old, and one who just passed away two weeks ago.

References are being checked, a phone interview was done by the adoption coordinator (and they passed with flying colors!) and the home visit will come soon. I have cried so many times already, and can't seem to stop snuggling Louie every chance I get (very much noticed by Vito!). I can't even think about the day I actually have to leave him with his new family.

It's only been one month that I've known this teeny little boy! The point of this post is to say THANK YOU to all of you foster families who do this over & over, for much longer time periods than I am going to end up having Louie. And often for pugs with medical or behavioral or emotional (especially those poor babies who were puppy mill breeders), potty, etc. issues. Louie has been a dream in all respects! I told myself when I decided to foster that I would be able to do it because it is so necessary for all of the pugs out there who need help - I would be able to let one go because another one would need me. But I don't think that is the case. I am not strong enough for this. Looking in his little eyes, with his eager face & hugs & kisses that just tell me he loves me SO much - I don't know how to let him go. I am not strong enough to let them go, and I am not strong enough to disrupt Vito's life over and over with pugs coming and going. He doesn't like it, despite the sometime-snuggling. ;)

And despite the look on his face here!

The title of this post came from a conversation with my Mom last night as I told her about the potential family, and their lost Bostons, and how hard it is going to be for me. She said "You just have to know, they need him more than you do. They've lost their boys that they had for so long, they need him. You love him, but you don't. You have Vito."

Vito Marino

And that's what I'll remember the day I give him up. And Vito and I will go on. I haven't 100% ruled out fostering again, especially if there was an emergency situation, or a special circumstance, but I am just not sure I can do it again.

I will miss you SO much little Louie Boy. But I am excited for your new forever family and for the undivided love and attention they will give you, without Mr. Vito Jealous Pants getting in your way!

5 comments:

Hank said...

Gina, as a transport coordinator/sometimes driver, I can tell you there is nothing like seeing the reaction of the adopters when they receive their new family member. Their joy and excitement is so intoxicating that it's hard not to get caught up in their happiness.

I think you'll find the pride and satisfaction that comes from being "a ripple in the wave" will outweigh any sadness you might feel.

PS And your mom is right. ;)

Salinger The Pug said...

Oh Gina! What a sweet post!!!! Your mom sounds like a very wise lady!

Keep us posted and we'll be here for you!

Love,
Laura (and S-Dog)

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Hi Gina

I couldn't know how to give up that sweetie pie but its true the new family really needs a little guy to love right now. I admire what you are doing for the pugs out there too. Maybe the new family can send you updates and photos you if you want.

Give Vito and Louie hugs!

Jenn

Two Pugs in a Pod said...

Gina. :( I admire you so much! You, and all the other fosters out there, are SO BRAVE. My little girl, Natty, is a rescue...and I can't even begin to thank her foster mom enough for taking care of her, and for choosing US to be her family! I can't foster now...but I hope, one day, to be able to return the favor. I'm not sure that I'm strong enough, either...it's a scary thought. But just know that what you've done is SO IMPORTANT. Even if it just is for one pug. You're making his adoptive family whole again. And he'll always love and remember you...he will. :) Give both of the boys a snuggle from us, will you?

Archie and Melissa said...

dearest gina

oh i am sending you huge hugs!
thank you so much for helping louie and for opening your heart and home to him.
he is so lucky to have you.
i am in awe of your strength and for everyone that fosters these beautiful souls.
your mom is so smart.
no wonder she has such an amazing daughter!
xoxox
a & m

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